Ah, the great outdoors - man’s original stomping grounds. Life, contrary to popular belief, was not simpler then. It was a constant battle for survival, but it was a full and rich existence. Nature did not dote upon her human children; rather, she thrust them into a stressful situation that tested their mettle and brought them closer to their surroundings. But we’ve long since moved into condos, townhomes, and apartments, opting instead for a processed, pre-packaged existence utterly removed from the previous thirty thousand years of our history. It is no stretch to suggest we neglect the innate and crucial relationship our ancestors shared with nature. Is it not also fair to suggest that we might benefit from renewing that bond?

But how do we do it? The occasional weekend hike surrounded by dozens of other out-of-shape middle managers isn’t enough, and living in solitude with the beasts and the trees most likely isn’t viable for you. You have jobs, and fantasy sports leagues to worry about, right? Well, the next best thing to pastoral hermitude is a well-planned, well-thought out camping trip.

Go camping, guys. Get out there and get dirty.

To effectively camp is to truly immerse oneself in one’s essence. Truly being a man is being self-sufficient, active, and firm in your convictions; camping forces you to enlist these qualities and characteristics if you want to succeed. Think about it. You’ll be cooking, cleaning, assembling a shelter, using your own hands to build a fire and scramble over rocks, using your own legs to locomote yourself around.

You don’t have high-powered technology as a crutch, there are no staid corporate environments demanding behavior contrary to our nature. It’s just you and the trees. I don’t want to make this a How-To: Be a Man guide, so just trust me on the importance of camping well.

To camp well one must adhere to a few simple rules of preparation and conduct.

1. Reserve Your Site Online
You’ve just finished a marathon reading of “Walden” and the “Dharma Bums,” got your rucksack full of dried apricots and a bottle of cheap sack, and want to strike out immediately for the nearest wooded area. Don’t, though. That romantic prose is great for inspiration, but it’ll get you killed out in the wild. Instead, use Reserve America to find and secure a great camping spot online. There’s nothing worse than driving four hours to a campsite, only to find it teeming with Bud-drinking rabble, with no space for you. Reserving a campsite online also lets you tailor-make the trip to your specifications. Don’t want a crowded experience full of whining kids? Only look for rustic campsites without showers, toilets, and water-pumps. If you need to take the family (or girlfriend), sites exist that cater to everyone, with some even offering miniature golfing and volleyball (I know). Camping isn’t about eschewing technology altogether; it’s about using it thoughtfully and honestly.

2. Keep the Camping Supply Staples in a Big Container
Sometimes the need to get away from it all strikes fast. If it’s Friday, at three in the afternoon, and you get the inclination to go camping, the one thing that’ll slow you down most is gathering up all the supplies. Chances are, you’ll forget stuff, and you probably won’t make it out until the following day. Reduce your prep time and make sure you’ve got everything you’ll ever need by keeping the following items in a big plastic tub at all times.
-Tent
-Sleeping bag and pad (consider keeping the sleeping material loosely packed in big bags, because compression can weaken the material)
-First aid kit (bandages, gauze, aspirin, scissors, antiseptic, etc)
-Lantern
-Flashlight w/ extra batteries
-Small broom (sleeping in filth doesn’t enhance the experience)
-Tarp (rain can strike at any moment)
-Wet wipes (if there’s no shower, the occasional pseudo-bath is just fine)
-Matches
-Bug repellent
-Trash bags (remember the Burning Man credo: Leave no trace!)
-Cooking supplies (I like a good solid cast-iron pan)
-Sunscreen
-Pocketknife

3. Make a List
You can’t keep everything you’ll need in a plastic tub, so make a permanent list of these things you’ll still need to bring for every camping trip.
-Clothing (both hot and cold weather)
-Firewood
-Lawn chairs
-Toothbrush
-Cooler
-Food

4. Various tips
-Try to leave the cell phone, if you need it at all, in the car (on silent).
-Bring a good book.
-Stop at the ranger station on your way in; he’ll usually have good ideas for interesting hikes or climbs to try.
-If it’s allowed, bring your dog. Reliable, silent companionship is perfect for nature.
-Try camping alone one time, but be safe.
-Keep your meals pretty simple; red wine reductions just mean more cleanup.
-Try hunting or fishing for your own sustenance. Nothing tastes better than something you’ve caught yourself.
-If you plan on doing anything adventurous, bring a friend. You know those guys that get stuck and have to gnaw their own limbs off to make it home? Yeah, they always hike alone.

Heed this advice, and you’ll be roughing and loving it in no time.

***Picture Thanks to zen***

This entry was posted on Friday, June 13th, 2008 at 3:19 pm.
Categories: Play Well.

No Comments, Comment or Ping

Reply to “How-To: Camp Like a Post-Modern Protohominid”