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With summer licking at our heels, many of us have been preparing in eager anticipation: slathering on the suntan lotion, prowling used book sales for Clive Cussler novels, and tightening up those abs. But what about those unlucky enough to just be nursing a six-pack of Heinies, rather than brandishing the type of six-pack that’ll get you tons of heiny?

I must warn you, gentle readership. There is no easy, wishy-washy way to lose fat. Therefore, I’m going to be direct and in-your-face about this very grave matter. Blunt (like your fat, stubby fingers) is the name of the game.

1. Eating
Most importantly, you really gotta spurn the advances of the high-carb honeys and trans-fat tail. It’s tough to resist, I know, but you don’t want to be the fat kid at the beach wearing his t-shirt to go swimming. It’s kinda funny when you’re ten, but absolutely pathetic when you’re in your twenties. So ditch the starches, the processed food, and the fast “food.” I have quotes there because that stuff isn’t really food, and you know it. If you don’t believe me, your own body will make it known with frequent, intense trips to the toilet. What little nutrition fast food contains will just pass right on through you; fat sticks, though, so stick to whole, unprocessed foods, like meats (not burgers and fried chicken - we’re talking baked or grilled steak, chicken and fish, my friends), vegetables, fruit, and nuts.

Some excellent choices include:
-Almonds (go for raw or unsalted)
-Lean chicken, beef, or lamb (try to go for free-range, organic, and grass-fed if your wallet permits)
-Raw leafy greens (just toss ‘em in some balsamic and olive oil and you’re good to go)
-Honey or agave syrup (if you absolutely must have sugar)
-Flaxseeds (adds nutty crunch to smoothies, or you can just take the oil for the Omega-3 fatty acids)
-Green tea
-Fresh, wild caught fish
-Berries (blackberries and blueberries can be found in the frozen section if the fresh berries are too expensive)

A safe bet is to just do all your shopping along the perimeter of the grocery store and stay out of the aisles, for therein lies processed, prepackaged food. Try to stick to fresh fruit, as the dried fruit contains more concentrated calories, meaning you’ll end up eating an entire bag in one sitting.

Drop those goddamn Pop-Tarts!!! Geesh.

2. Exercise
Ever wonder how those sculpted professional athletes got so shredded? It’s not just careful regulation of their diets, which not all of them even follow. It’s exercise. These guys do it for a living, after all. It doesn’t take a genius to make the logical connection between exercise and weight loss. That blubber isn’t clogging your brain, is it? Good.

Simply put, your body expends energy and burns calories when it exercises. Ramping up the intensity of a workout will increase the energy expenditure and calories burned. If you’re sweating and breathing hard, you’re on the right track. If you’re close to puking (a more controversial weight-loss method), you’re pushing your body to its fat-burning limit. If you’re screaming and pleading for mercy, you’re probably having some really great sex (another fantastic exercise, by the way).

You’ve probably heard that long, slow and steady wins the fat-burning race. It may have worked for the tortoise, but in terms of maximizing your weight-loss, it’s pure hogwash. Advocates of walking and light jogging just want to make themselves feel better about being fatties. They don’t want to do the work necessary. Think about it: you’re morbidly obese with Cheeto-stained fingers and breath that smells of special sauce. The last thing you want to do is work hard and get sweaty. Well, folks, sweat isn’t just lubricant for your inner thighs; it’s also an indication that you’re getting a great workout!

And don’t just focus on cardio. Cardio’s overrated. Pump that iron. If you don’t have access to the gym, no problem. There are plenty of body weight exercises that work just fine. You have access to plenty of body weight, don’t you? Try to focus on full-body movements, rather than narrowing your focus to single body parts. Don’t do dumbbell curls to work your biceps… do pull-ups and work your flabby back as well as your biceps. Chances are you won’t be able to do more than one or two pullups at first. No problem! Stand on a bench and do negative pullups. Get your chin above the bar and let yourself down as slowly as possible. Your body actually builds more strength doing negative movements, allowing you to graduate to more pullups in a single sitting. Same goes for pushups and situps. If you did nothing but loads of pushups, situps, and pullups, you’d have a well-rounded (not rounded) physique.

Some more advanced workouts to consider:
-Knees to elbows (hang from a pullup bar and bring your knees up to touch your elbows — perfect for washboard abs)
-Burpees (builds total body strength and endurance, while burning calories like nothing else)
-Sprints (on the beach, uphill, up stairs — it all works well; if you’re a real man, try doing sets of pushups in between sprints)
-Squats (start with just your body weight, but ramp it up by holding heavy objects while you do it)

Oh, and make sure you’re not moseying along during your workouts. Go as hard and as fast as you can. Working out should never be a relaxing endeavor, especially if you’re serious about losing weight. Plus, who wants to work out for hours? Push yourself hard and just get it done.

3. Supplements
Dietary supplementation can’t replace proper diet and exercise habits, but it can be the icing on the weight loss cake (are these food metaphors helpful?). Some pills tout their ability to curb hunger, while others promise to give you plenty of energy for your workouts. The folks at Phentremine Overnight have created a supplement that combines the best of both worlds. Phentremine-AE contains both Hoodia, a proven appetite suppressant, and various energy-boosting ingredients. It helps you burn fat, sure, but perhaps more importantly, Phentremine-AE helps you focus and stick to your weight-loss plan. You’ll still have to work hard and eat right, but Phentremine-AE will make your job a little easier.

Face it, fatties. Eating right and exercising regularly and effectively are choices we all can make. Show some backbone and skip the fast food for once. Do some pushups and burpees in your living room, or head down to the local park to do pullups and sprints. With the help of Phentremine-AE, there shouldn’t be a problem.

No more excuses.

***Picture Thanks to amy_b***